- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
- Give honest, sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely.
Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “you’re wrong.”
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying, “yes, yes” immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Principles from How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Fundamental Principles for Overcoming Worry
- Live in “day-tight compartments.”
- How to face trouble:
> Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?”
> Prepare to accept the worst.
> Try to improve on the worst.
- Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health.
Basic Techniques in Analyzing Worry
- Get all the facts.
- Weight all the facts – then come to a decision.
- Once a decision is reached, act!
- Write out and answer the following question:
> What is the problem?
> What are the causes of the problem?
> What are the possible solutions?
> What is the best possible solution?
Break the Worry Habit Before It Breaks You
- Keep Busy.
- Don’t fuss about trifles.
- Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries.
- Cooperate with the inevitable.
- Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it more.
- Don’t worry about the past.
Cultivate a Mental Attitude that will Bring You Peace and Happiness
- Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health and hope.
- Never try to get even with your enemies.
- Expect ingratitude.
- Count your blessings — not your troubles.
- Do not imitate others.
- Try to profit from your losses.
- Create happiness for others.
The Perfect Way to Conquer Worry
Don’t Worry about Criticism
- Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment.
- Do the very best you can.
- Analyze your own mistakes and criticize yourself.
Prevent Fatigue and Worry and Keep Your Energy and Spirits High
- Rest before you get tired.
- Learn to relax at your work.
- Protect your health and appearance by relaxing at home.
- Apply these four good working habits:
> Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
> Do things in the order of their importance.
> When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision.
> Learn to organize, deputize and supervise.
- Put enthusiasm into your work.
- Don’t worry about insomnia.
Adapted from http://www.nagesh.com/reference/100-golden-rules/182-golden-rules-from-dale-carnegies-golden-book.html.
The book is available from http://www.dalecarnegie.com/assets/1/7/GoldenBook_English.swf where you can also download a PDF.
By Jeanette Evans